| Best Birthday ever |
[Dec. 4th, 2004|02:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
I had the best birthday night ever. Last night was my power hour, and I went out with Kathryn and Steph. We went to the bars in Winona and had so much fun. Today I got up ( no hangover, thank goodness) and went snowboarding. Now, tonight I am going out with Nicole, Steph, Amy, and Trent. This is the best birthday ever. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2004|09:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
Wow, it has been a few days since I have last wrote in here. Well, last night I had an awesome time with Kate and Apes. We went out and saw some people that we haven't seen in awhile, and even made some new friends. There was a guy there who was being a stocker to me. He was cute and all, but none the less a stocker. "Estoy aqui". As Apes would have said, yes Pete, we know you are here. I think he told me like 10 times that he either going to be a Spanish or a Business major. Ha, ha, it was funny. Kate and I had to hide in one of the guys rooms so that the stocker man couldn't find us. Fun times. Anyway, it is now Saturday night and I am sitting home doing homework and watching movies. I am a little behind on my homework assignments, so I needed to catch up. Oops. Anway, not much else happening around here. |
|
|
| Life's simple realizations.... |
[Oct. 19th, 2004|12:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pessimistic | ] |
So, today I realized that what I have been working so hard for, for the past 8 years, is now gone. I am not going to get into medical school this year. SHIT. I don't know what else to do with my life. This is all I have ever wanted, and now it has been taken away from me.
What would I be good at? I don't even know what other career options I could see myself doing. NOTHING I say. NOTHING.
Crumble, crumble, crumble (the sounds of my life crashing down around me). |
|
|
| There goes my life.... |
[Oct. 18th, 2004|01:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
Well, it appears that getting into medical school is a dream that will never come true. I just got back my test scores for my medical school test, and I did WORSE than I did the first time. And let me tell you, it doesn't get much worse than mine is. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. For once in my life, I no longer have control of what is going to happen to the rest of my life. It is all in the hands of the few medical schools that I applied to, and the outlook doesn't look so good. Now the questions come of: Why didn't I study more? Why couldn't I just have got one grade higher?
Well, let me tell you, THIS SUCKS. I can't do anything. I am not ready to go out into the "real world" and get a job yet. I don't want to get a job. I want to be a doctor. I just dont' want to wait for a few years to try and get in again. I just want to get in now. I guess this is all just the harsh reality of the past 3 years of my life settling in.
I was so close to accomplishing my dream, but now it feels like it is just sitting outside of my grasp. Like someone is dangling it in front of my face, but I am just not able to stretch far enough to reach it. I guess sometimes you just have to give it all you have, and take that one last lunge at what you want. I guess that means for me that I have to apply to a different type of school. It is not really what I want, but I suppose I would still be a doctor.
It is just so hard when you have had your life planned out for so long, and there is just one thing standing in your way. MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. Anyway, I guess I will get in if I am a good candidate.
That brings me to another subject of discussion, what makes a good medical school candidate? I may be saying this because I am bitter right now, but I wouldn't my O.B. doctor to be someone who was at the top of their class, but has no personality or life experience. Give me someone like me: someone who worked their ass off to get where they are, even though they weren't always at the top of the class. Someone who can relate to me, and who has a personality. That is what I would want in a doctor. What do you think?
Okay, so that is all i have for now. Sweetdreams all...... |
|
|
| Yey....I am home |
[Oct. 14th, 2004|10:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
Nothing good these past few days.
Football friend and I watched a movie last night, lots of fun, and free pizza.
Al and I drove back to Big Lake today to spend the weekend at home. My mom took off tomorrow so we can bake cookies. Can you tell how excited I am? I hate baking cookies, unless I make them, and they are monster cookies.
Ralph Lauren Update: He is SINGLE! I am going to have to get on that shit. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2004|01:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
All I have to say is that some people need to figure out shit in their life before they should start fucking with mine.
Do I look like a toy to be play with? NO I AM NOT
I am angry, and no, I do not want to talk about it. |
|
|
| The weekend in review... |
[Oct. 11th, 2004|11:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  horny | ] |
So, the weekend was fabulous, and I would like to return to that fun night, had it not been for the damn hangover I had until 10 pm last night. Ugh, that is all I have to say about that. So, again, I had an incredible time in Mankato on Saturday night. I met this really hot guy with a red Ralph Lauren sweater (we named him Ralph Lauren). Ralph Lauren and I chatted for a long time (Nikki says that I was doing some good flirting and that she wants to learn how). Well, we talked about sports, school, and did a little kissin' (very good kisser). I also took my first Yag bomb (very good drink), and let me tell you, I was a happy girl after that. So, I probably sound like an alcoholic at this point, but I am not. Hey, who could say no to free beer. NOT ME. So, we drank from about 6pm to about 3 am ( I took a breif nap somewhere in there). Ralph Lauren went to the bars, and never found his way back. So, I sit here with his phone number in my hand and wonder whether I should call or not. FYI: he was very hot. He was also drinking to, so I may have seemed cuter to him than I actually am, which is why he could have talked to me for so long. So, here is my plan. Next time that I go out drinking (after this weekend, I may wait awhile), I am going to call him, or have some other drunk call him and talk to him. See, the funniest part about Ralph Lauren is that he lives in Winona too, go figure. Which means, shit, I may see him again.
Let me know what you think on this issue.
Anyway, I think the car ride back was the funniest part of the whole weekend. In the car was 4 girls, and myself (very hungover). We are talking about the previous night, what happened with everyone, and one girl begins to tell her story. See, she didnt' talk to anyone guys really throughout the night, yet she ended up getting the most ass out of all of us. I guess I have been going about this whole guy thing wrong (just kidding). Anyway, she goes on about guy tried getting her pants undone, but he couldn't get the second button to unhook (she said the button was there for safety purposes). I think her words were, "I need to wear tighter pants." Ha ha, sorry I am telling this story, but it was so gosh darn funny.
Funny quote from the weekend:
"I think I gave my first unsuccessful hand job."
~Anonymous
Okay, I need to get back to my homework, but I promised I would finish my story from the weekend. I sure hope I see Ralph Lauren man again (damn, he was hot).
Night all..... |
|
|
| Owey |
[Oct. 10th, 2004|06:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
So hung over today. Ouch. But let me tell you, it was well worth it. I had an incredible night last night in Mankato with Liz, Nicole, Katie, and Emily. I definitly learned a lot about those girls. So, I am now sitting here thinking about all of the homework I have to do, but my head hurts too bad to do it. I will explain my fun night later when I can focus on the coputer screen. |
|
|
| The Question of the Day is.... |
[Oct. 8th, 2004|01:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mischievous | ] |
At what age should you quit breast feeding you infant?
That is the question of the day. The question was brought up today in the library, yes the library of all places. Al asked me the question, and the topic bloomed from there.
I don't have a definite answer to this question. I would say somewhere around a year. Al says you should quit before the child is old enough to say, "Mom, I want some milk", at which time the child walks over, grabs your nipple, and starts sucking away. I definitly think that is too long. Al (she had a lot of stupid facts on this subject) said that there is a mother somewhere (probably in Wisconsin) who still breast feeds her 8 and 5 YEAR OLD children. Could you imagine being those children. "Um, teacher, I have to go home for lunch." "Why is that Timmy?" the teacher says. "Well teacher, my mom is waiting for me with some warm, fresh breast milk." EWWW. That poor kid. He is going to have some problems when he grows up.
Let me know your thoughts on this issue so I can relay them back to Allyson.
I am on a role with the library thing. Two nights in one week, that has to be a record for me. |
|
|
| I hate presentations.... |
[Oct. 6th, 2004|11:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
So, I gave a presentation in class today about the localization of the developed embryo of the drosophila fly. I know you are all thinking, boring, and I have to totally agree, which brings me to the beginning of my story.
So, I gave a presentation today in developmental biology. While, I was nervous as all hell, and to make it worse, I have the dullest subject ever to give it on. Who the fuck gives how the mRNA is localized in a fly. Not this girl. Anyway, I quickly went through my lame power point presentation. I jumbled my words a lot, but I finally got to the end. I asked a question that will forever haunt me. "Any questions?" Oh God, why did I ask that question. Well, the class stayed quiet, but then my prof had to go and open his mouth. He asked me some question in which I didn't even know what he was asking, and then he looked at me stupid when I asked him to explain it further. Well, he finally got to the point and started asking if I knew were proteins were made. Duh, I have been a biology major for 4 freakin' years, of course I know where proteins are made. (It's in the ribosomes for those of you non-biology majors). Anyway, I knew the answer, but I couldn't say it. I was too afraid of him grilling me more, so I just shut up. But oh no, that was not the end of it. He continued asking me questions. I'm sorry, but that information was not part of my presentation. It was not in the expectations, and it was 9 am. I do NOT function properly then. Well, he finally let me sit down, and I recieved evaluations from my classmates. They agreed that he was being rude, but they also told me I say um a lot. I know that, I was nervous. I can't help it. So, that was the start to my day, and it is not even noon yet. This is going to be a long day
On a better note, Amy is finally making my satin pillows for my bed since I can't seem to get around to it. Yey! They will look so pretty. Okay, I need a nap. |
|
|
| Another week of school.... |
[Oct. 4th, 2004|12:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
I don't want to go back to school tomorrow. Yuck! So, Terry is hopefully going to come and visit me in the next few weeks. Yey! Anyway, I can't fall asleep, so I am catchin up on my Real World. |
|
|
| Homework Day |
[Oct. 3rd, 2004|01:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
Well, today is going to be a homework day (hopefully). I have so much work to catch up on, I need this day. |
|
|
| Friday nights.... |
[Oct. 2nd, 2004|01:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
The Obvious:
I am in college. It is Friday night. I have nothing going on tomorrow. I live alone. I am single. My life is boring.
Question:
What the hell am I doing home alone on a Friday night? Shouldn't I be out with my friends, coming home in the wee hours of the mornin'? Isn't this what college students do?
I guess I must not have got the memo.
So, I went and saw Ladder 49 tonight with Amy and Trent, and it was "amazing" as Amy would describe it. It was actually quite a moving movie. I highly recommend it for all of you losers like myself who like to go out and watch movies on Friday and Saturday nights.
So, I spoke with my mother this afternoon about my life and she thinks I am depressed. Who knew? Does anyone else think that? I don't know. All I know is that I am not happy. You may ask, "Laura, what would make you happy", and I would answer with nothing. I guess I just don't know anymore.
I am going to Creation Location tomorrow with Amy and Trent (go figure) and I am going to pick up my soup mug (way cool, that I painted) and paint my elephant. Man, that place is so fun. What else do I have to do on a Saturday afternoon? Ooh, ooh, I know......NOTHING.
I am now off to sleep so that I can wake up to another day of uncertainty. Oh, the joys of my life.
FYI: The "Fuck You" statement was not geared toward anyone who would read this. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 30th, 2004|10:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
Fuck You.....
Okay, now that I got that off my shoulder. Today was a shitty day. SHITTY. I spent $160 more dollars on Medical School applications. It is way too expensive to be a pre-medical student. Thank god for my friends Amy and Trent. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here right now. I have had enough, I feel so hollow inside. Please help me. |
|
|
| Oh, the ranting and raving continues..... |
[Sep. 29th, 2004|11:47 pm] |
Grrr....I hate when plans are cancelled. It just throws off my whole day. It just gets to the point where you are sooooo looking forward to that event, and then bitter disappointment occurs when it is taken away. It is okay, I still got some good food and company out of the deal. Also, I HATE when people take advantage of your friendship, and cause you to do things in the end that you don't want to do (I shall explain this further later). Why do you people have to stomp all over me? All I want is to blend into the backround. Just leave me alone and go play your games with someone else. I don't want to play anymore.
You know you hear about those crazy unmarried ladies with hundreds of cats in their homes, well, I am going to be one of those when I grow up (only with dogs, and a lot less). See, I have come to the conclusion that no one is meant for me, and I am not meant for anyone. So, I figured I would find my own companionship by having a lot of dogs. I know, everyone thinks I am crazy, but I swear it is going to happen. I know I am still young and will probably meet that one person later on in life, but hell, I just want someone to tide me over till then. Is that too much to ask? I guess so. See, if I think this way, then I won't be hit with disappointment when it really happens in my life. See, now aren't I the smart one (I always think ahead). ***Just a thought for the day****
Anyway, I am hurting like mad today after practice. Damn Brit's made up this stupid circuit, and my coach seems to think that we should do it too. Well, I say PAH to him. Does he want the bruises on his legs that I have on mine? I think not.
Well,there is a lot of complaining in this journal. I sure seem to complain a lot. I shall stop now. Good news for the day:
~I have a new found love for Creation Location, a ceramics place in downtown Winona. Today, I glaze painted my own soup bowl, that says SOUP on it. Ha ha, now everytime that I eat soup in it, I will say, "Hey, I made this." My next project shall be a patch-work elephant named Lewey, who shall act as a door stop.
FYI: I did not win in Powerball (I sure could have used that 130ish million though). |
|
|
| Grrr |
[Sep. 28th, 2004|06:58 pm] |
Do you ever turn on the television, just to get a glimps of one show, and all that is on is commercials. I have had enough of commercials, I think they should all be banned.
K, funny thing for all of you:
Sometimes I get the urge to strip. When I get the urge, I just drink some Windex, it keeps me from streaking.
He he, I am funny!! |
|
|
| Life's simple pleasures |
[Sep. 28th, 2004|12:48 am] |
Okay, so I met someone this weekend at homecoming. It is still kinda iffy, but I think he is such a cutie, so I would like at least a chance with him. Things are crazy around here. I just don't have the time to do all the things I want. Al and I were chatting on the way back from Kristy's wake, and she showed me her list of the things she wants to do before she dies, and I decided that I needed to start a list. So here goes so far:
Go to Paris and get my picture taken in front of the eiffel tower (?)
Go scuba diving in the ocean
Go skydiving
Get married/have children/live happily ever after
Become an O.B. doctor in a hospital
Build/Own my own home
Buy a new car
Sleep under the stars with someone I love
Have sex in the rain
Make a difference in someone's life
Sponsor a cancer patient on ChemoAngels
Okay, that is it for now. I need to start studying again. Yey school!!
Okay, one last thought. Do you ever have that favorite candy that you just can't get enough of. Yummy. Well, for me that is Laffy Taffy. I would eat half a bag in a day if it didn't take so damn long to take the wrapper off of my delectable treat. Mmm. Also, you have to stop and read the jokes, so that takes a little longer too. I think I ate like 10 of them today. Can you say yumm. |
|
|
| Tired, but things are finally back to normal |
[Sep. 13th, 2004|03:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
It is about time that things are getting back to normal around here. I love him, I love him not, I love him, I love him not, I love him.
I had a good talk with the Ho's this weekend, and thank goodness one of them feels the same way I do. Finally, someone who can relate.
Too tired to continue. |
|
|
| The week is slowly improving |
[Sep. 8th, 2004|10:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Whiskey Lullaby | ] |
Well, it was wing night tonight at ZaZa's, and I had a good time with the girls. Thank goodness I got out because I was going crazy here. I am going out with Bronson tomorrow after he gets off work, so I am looking forward to that. I never get to see that kid anymore. Well, my football friend neighboor keeps coming by asking to watch movies with me. I may have an admirer (spelling, eh?). Okay, I am in a good mood now. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2004|12:41 am] |
|
Why am I always the one to cry? Somedays, the bitter sense of reality just gets to me and causes me to spin out of control. I finally came to the conclusion today that I am not happy here. I love Winona, but there is nothing here that brings enjoyment to my life. I used to have a source of fun, a source of survival, someone who could get me through the days, but he is not gone too. Not in the sense of missing, but it is as though she has sucked the life out of him, and I am left with a vegetable for a friend. Oh God he has to be hurting, but what about me. Not only am I stressed, depressed, but lets now add the fact that the person who I thought was my best friend is now gone. What I am to do? And the only people who can comfort me are no longer around. What bewilders me is how one person can love someone so much, and I just hope to feel a small amount of that love in my lifetime from someone, anyone. I think that is what bothers me. He loves her so much, and I am shown nothing. Don't get me wrong, I don't want the type of love that those two have, but I do want to know that he needs me as much as I need him. God, what I am I going to do now? I seem only to write when I am hurting, which has been quite frequently lately. I just can't seem to feel good about my life. I am so unhappy, and no one knows. How can they not know? Don't you see the hurting, can't you feel the pain? If you only knew how bad it has gotten since I have come back. I fall asleep at night only for the fact that my eyes can no longer handle anymore tears. I want someone to love me, just like they all have. Where the hell is my happily ever after? I want an answer, but it seems as though I am running through an endless ibis to find it. Running, running, until I can no longer breathe, and my surroundings seems to be falling apart. I think that is what is going on in my head. I want so badly to have control over my life, yet it seems to keep getting away from me. It crumbles each time that it slips from my grasp. I am afraid that once of these days, it may fall too far. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
ljduchene's journal